every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
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