I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think I am morally bankrupt
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
