I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
