I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
