so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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