i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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