If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
