Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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