All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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