your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
