I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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