Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
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Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
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Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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