my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
well you can't waste a boner
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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