I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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