I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
