She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
