So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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