we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
