new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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