return my video game
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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