Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
and you fell through a lawn chair
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
