32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
