may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
