I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
