Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
