I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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