So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
