He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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