Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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