Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
