I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
