I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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