If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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