It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
