so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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