Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
