even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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