well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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