I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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