she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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