i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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