I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
