How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
