I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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