So drunk its hurt
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize