Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
handjob tips. give me some.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
