Is it normal to miss your booty call?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Let's get the cat blown out
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
