he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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