Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
