so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
