shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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