well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
