We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
