That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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