your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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