So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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