Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
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Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
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I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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