bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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