Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
