sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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