I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
