This is not my ceiling
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
