Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
