Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
